Turning Inwards

I had a lovely conversation with a doula friend the other week and I came away so happy and inspired.  Rarely have I met someone so centered and aware of their own body and their capabilities.  It is always delightful to meet with another doula and talk about birth.  We both agreed that we like nothing better than talking about birth.  So, of course we shared our birth stories.  Hers were so wonderful.  Throughout her first birth she would periodically check in with her body to decide what she needed to do next.  If I look back and review where my mind was at while in labor with my first, I will have to admit that I was completely focused on the pain and not at all aware of my body or what it was telling me.
It is surprising how easy it is to miss that essential point.  Most childbirth education classes spend the majority of their time discussing the stages of labor, playacting through pretend contractions, teaching optimal positioning etc...  Yet, it all seems so external.  We learn about these events but we spend little time really turning inward and figuring out what we'll need to do to cope mentally/emotionally.  You can know all the best positions in the world but if you're mind is stuck on the pain or on what's coming next, no position will bring relief.  You need to find your own inner focus.
The trouble with teaching a concept like "finding your inner focus" is that it will differ radically woman to woman.  There may be some similarities...every woman needs to turn inward to find that focus but how they end up doing that and what it actually looks like will be unique.  What is liberating about this concept is that you don't have to birth like anyone else!  You can birth exactly as your body is designed to birth and you can find freedom and happiness in that.
One woman shared her birth story with me and I'll share it now to demonstrate just how different we each can birth.  Her labors were pretty typical up until around 6 cm.  She would get to 6 cm and then progress lightning fast to 10 and pushing.  She had 6 babies and no matter how often she told her doctors and nurses, they still never believed her when she said it was going to be fast!  In fact, her last baby was born on the hospital bed without a doctor present because no one believed her that she was ready to push the baby out!!
So instead of relying on someone else's idea of how birth "typically" goes, I encourage you to turn inward and focus instead on what your body is telling you, and to trust what you know.  No one has a crystal ball into your uterus but you are the closest thing to a crystal ball.  You can turn inwards and find a deeper knowing about your body and your baby.  You can know things no machine can tell you.  Every machine used in birth i.e. ultrasound, electronic fetal monitors, etc... have a high false positive rate.  You can hardly do worse, and most often you can do better than a machine by remaining calm and confident.
If you're not used to this kind of inner meditation, please don't disregard it as not something you'd do.  Pregnancy and birth is the perfect time to stretch yourself and explore the unknown.  Just the fact that you will be birthing readies you for the unknown.  Embrace it.  Have confidence in yourself and in your body's way of birthing and let it happen.